


I Only See You

by Nathaliafl123



Category: B.A.P
Genre: College AU, Library AU, M/M, Romance, bottom!Himchan, top!yongguk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7733410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathaliafl123/pseuds/Nathaliafl123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Himchan feels a strange need to get to know the lean man who sits in the library early in the mornings and writes in a maroon journal with a mysterious smile on his luscious lips.<br/>Loosely based on B.A.P’s “Coffee Shop” and my own experiences. Inspired by B.A.P’s “Feel So Good” (check my chapter titles ;-) )</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Want to Have You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Your_guilty_pleasure](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_guilty_pleasure/gifts).



> Thanks to Your_guilty_pleasure for requesting this fic! I had a great time writing it! Sorry not sorry it’s so long. Feel free to skip around if you don’t like long fics. Enjoy the BangHim! (you’re about to get ⅔ of your AU requests!!)

Himchan doesn’t expect much from this semester. He’ll get decent grades, because that’s how he’s always done, and make a few new friends. He might get a job, if the on-campus coffee stand actually hires him. He’ll most likely be spending all semester in the music room, singing a melody or two to himself.

It turns out he’s correct about all these things. Two months into the semester, and his grades are the best in his classes—in one course, he is actually above Youngjae. The coffee stand didn’t hire him because of schedule conflicts, but the tutoring center did because of his 4.0 GPA. He stays in the music room with Daehyun after class each day, humming a tune or pounding on the janggu. Then he stops by the dance studio to pick up Jongup before carpooling home. He’s finally gotten used to college, since he’s going to graduate after next semester. Though he still feels like something’s missing.

He finds this something three weeks before the end of the semester.

~

It’s eight o’clock in the morning, two hours before Himchan’s first lecture, and he is sitting on a couch in the library, in front of the campus coffee stand. He arrives to school early every day because Jongup has class at eight thirty. Said freshman is presently sitting beside the elder, studying his notes diligently right before a chapter exam. Well, mostly diligently.

“Jongup, how can you study if you’re always staring at your phone?” Himchan scolds, closing his own textbook and snatching his friend’s phone away..

“Hey!” Jongup pouts, returning his eyes to his notes, “I’m studying, see!”

Himchan shakes his head, placing the iPhone on top of his textbook. “You’ll get it back when you finish.”

Jongup grumbles, but does as told, rereading the highlighted bullet points and quizzing himself. Himchan doesn’t open his textbook back up; instead, his eyes wander around the room. Students are reading, taking notes, eating breakfast, drinking coffee, and talking. Some professors walk in to order a coffee, or meet with a student. There is a large group of awkward-looking high school students on a college campus tour, gathered around their guide.

Jongup gasps, snapping Himchan out of his daze. The younger leans in to whisper, “Do you think he’s cute?”

“Who?”

“Him,” Jongup gestures discreetly towards someone in front of them, and Himchan follows his line of sight.

There he is.

A tall, lean man is seated in a couch across the room, closer to Best Absolute Perfect Coffee. He has dark brown hair, mostly hidden under a red baseball cap, the tips of his upswept bangs dyed platinum blond. Plump lips are pursed as he contemplates something on his phone, until a gummy smile suddenly spreads across his face, making Himchan melt into a puddle.

This is the man whom Himchan has been secretly watching for the past few weeks, on mornings that Jongup doesn’t follow him to the library. The mystery man comes in a little while after Himchan does, spending time reading or studying. Himchan often sees him ordering an iced caramel macchiato when the stand opens, listening to that deep baritone voice of his. If Himchan could draw, this man would be his muse.

The elder swallows, throat dry, “Yeah, he’s cute.” The mystery man licks his lips idly. _More like impossibly hot_ , Himchan thinks. “I’ve seen him here before.”

“Oh, really?” Jongup gives him a cheeky grin, “You should go talk to him.”

“What?” Himchan tears his eyes away from the angel in order to give the younger a bewildered expression. “No way. What if I freak him out? I’m pretty sure he’s caught me staring at him many times before.”

“Who cares?” Jongup rolls his eyes, “Be a little adventurous, won’t you?”

Himchan sputters at the freshman’s claim that he is basically no fun at all. “I am adventurous!” Like when he (accidentally) jumped into that medium-sized puddle after it rained last week (and only cried about his ruined boots for five minutes). Or when he picked up a pen that a beautiful girl dropped and gave it back to her (after being mentally tortured by the possibility that she would think he stole it instead).

Jongup scoffs, gathering his books and backpack, “Well, you have three weeks until the semester ends. You better get his number...or else!” The kid grabs his phone from Himchan’s table and leaves for class with a mocking expression, getting back at the elder for scolding him.

Himchan is left alone to his racing thoughts. The mystery man has brought out a textbook and set of flashcards, starting to study. How badly Himchan wished he could be sitting with him, maybe helping him study...or sitting _on_ him, sucking on those marvelously plush lips of his. Whichever happens first.

But it would be too weird. To just walk up to a stranger, and offer to quiz him on his notecards?  The guy would probably feel awkward and creeped out. Himchan knows he would.

How can he possibly get those digits?

~

Another week passes, and no such luck. Himchan sees him every morning, and there is no progress being made.

Okay, that’s not entirely true. There’s some progress. One morning, Himchan managed a friendly wave, earning a pleasant smile from the man and a wave back. Granted, he did get a weird look after that. The man was probably trying to figure out where the heck Himchan knew him from.

Himchan sighs into his novel, closing it and putting his head on his crossed arms on top of the table. The mystery man has yet to appear, and Himchan can’t think about anything else. He should begin studying for his finals, but the motivation isn’t there as he frets about never getting to know even the mystery man’s name, let alone his phone number.

 _What if he’s graduating this semester?_ Himchan worries, _Or even if he doesn’t, what about the schedule changes next semester?_ The college campus is large enough to get lost on; if Himchan doesn’t see the man in this exact spot, he’ll probably never see him again.

His phone buzzes in the pocket of his jeans. Himchan lifts his head and checks his phone. There is a message from Jongup, whom he just escorted to his class before coming into the library.

_[HE’S GOING INTO THE LIBRARY RN, JUST PASSED MY CLASS. LOOK OUT FOR TALL, THIN, AND HANDSOME]_

Himchan shakes his head at the kid’s ability to text in class, but nevertheless is instantly filled with glee, as well as apprehension.

The mystery man is coming right now. He’ll walk into the room, sit in his usual couch by the coffee shop counter, and pull out his notebook. If he’s not studying or texting, Himchan has noticed that he’s always writing something in a maroon journal, a delicate smile lingering on his lips.

He does appear, walking through Himchan’s view with his headphones on and a water bottle in hand. Himchan tries to keep his eyes off of him, but he simply can't help it.

The man is unaccompanied. He usually is alone, but on some mornings, another student joins him. Himchan doesn't think that his friend is a college student, a judgement based on the kid’s baby face and not his height which is rather impressive.

Himchan notes that he goes straight to Best Absolute Perfect Coffee and orders his usual.

“One cold caramel macchiato, please.” The man’s voice is music to Himchan’s ears, so deep it’s almost sensual. He could listen to it all day.

An annoying voice in the back of his head (which sounds suspiciously like Youngjae) reminds him that he really should be _studying_ all day.

 _Ugh_ , Himchan complains, trying to read his book, _Damn Jongup for making me want to get to know this guy._ Himchan was only planning on watching him from afar; never would he expect to want this man’s number. But who knows what Jongup has in store for him if he doesn’t manage to get his digits…The last time Himchan didn’t do as Jongup told him, the asshole stole his phone, Calculus textbook, and laptop for a week.

Himchan realizes soon, after a long internal monologue, that the mystery man is waiting by the counter with a cup of coffee already in hand, one that doesn’t look like his usual. Himchan glances around the room. _Maybe that kid came with him?_ He considers who else the coffee could possibly be for, twisting in his seat and searching behind him, ignoring the weird looks that others are giving him.

“Looking for someone?”

Himchan freezes. That _voice_. Impossible.

Himchan turns back around so fast he almost breaks his neck, and gawks in disbelief at the person in front of him. There stands the mystery man, clad in a heavy winter coat, black jeans, and his usual red snapback. He has a soft smile on his lips, and his eyes are shining.

“Uh,” Himchan finally finds his voice, “No. Not really…”

“Okay,” the man shrugs, placing the cup of coffee on Himchan’s table, “In that case, I was wondering if you like hot coffee.” He gestures towards the coffee stand, “They got my order wrong; I asked for iced, but they gave me hot instead.”

Himchan’s eyes flit back and forth between the caramel macchiato and the man, “Uhm, yeah. I like hot coffee. Thanks.”

The man nods, returning to the counter to wait for his replacement drink, leaving Himchan a hot mess.

 _Oh my God, he talked to me! Why the hell would he just walk up to a random stranger like me and offer free coffee?_ Himchan supposes that there are indeed those kinds of generous people in the world, and the mystery man happens to be one of them.

He examines the cup, trying to calm his racing heart. There is a design of a bunny on the side, with the initials B.A.P under it. In spite of the fact that he sits in front of this coffee stand every weekday morning, Himchan has never had their coffee before, so he hopes it tastes good. He lifts the cup to his lips, eyes closing as he drinks. Small sips, because it's hot.

He probably shouldn’t have closed his eyes, because when he opens them, he is met with a sight that has him screaming on the inside. Again.

“Mind if I sit here?” The man is back with his iced coffee. He chuckles, a pleasant, low sound, “My usual seat is taken.”

Himchan gestures to the empty spot on the wide couch that he is sitting on. He keeps drinking the macchiato, which is almost delicious enough to distract him from the fact that his muse is sitting right next to him.

 _Almost_ enough. He can’t help but notice the man pull out his notebook and pen, scribbling something down. The sounds of his writing and the sounds of him sipping his drink reverberate in Himchan’s head, proving to be an incredible diversion from whatever he should be doing. Especially when Himchan remembers that _this is the guy._

Himchan puts down the cup and opens his novel again, trying to find where he left off. _Page 56? No, 57?_ His mind is a mess. Why does this tall stranger have to decide to plop his hot ass on the seat next to Himchan when he should really be reading his book?

Agitated, Himchan buries his nose in the coffee, drinking a heavy gulp of it. Despite the warmth of the cup in his hand, he has already forgotten that this is _hot_ coffee, and scalds his tongue.

“Ouch!” he hisses, dropping his novel and fanning on his tongue to soothe the burns.

“Are you okay?” The man turns to him immediately, obvious concern written all over his beautiful, beautiful face. It’s almost enough to soothe the burning in his tongue. Almost.

 _Dammit_ , Himchan curses himself for being an idiot, _Now he’s going to be so worried over a stranger._

“I’m fine,” Himchan waves him away, “Just burned my tongue.” He looks around for where his novel dropped, and finds it in the man’s hand as he lifts it from the carpet.

“Here,” he hands the book to Himchan, “Be careful.”

 _He’s too nice!_ Himchan blushes deep crimson as he takes the thin novel back. “Thanks. For the coffee, too.”

“You’re welcome,” the man gives him that sugary-sweet, gum-filled smile that makes Himchan insides turn to mush, “You know, I’ve seen you around here often.”

 _He has noticed me?_ “Oh, really?” Himchan mocks, “Well this is the library, after all. I’d imagine a lot of students frequent it.”

The man laughs, good-naturedly, and Himchan curses himself for being so indecisive. Does he want to get to know this man, or not?

“True,” the mystery man says, “but you’re always in this same spot, every morning. Like you own it.”

Himchan snorts, “When you have to drive your little freshman friend up here every day early because he has class at eight thirty, you do own this spot.” He still can’t seem to make eye contact, but he starts feeling more at ease. “Plus it’s comfortable and I get here right when the library opens, so I’m guaranteed this spot.”

The man nods, “I can never make it that early, so nine is good enough for me.”

“I’ve seen you here earlier,” Himchan comments.

“Oh, have you?” the man smirks, “That’s right; you’re the one who waved at me that one time. Have you been stalking me?”

Himchan blushes again, “It’s not like that...It’s your red hat. It’s too brightly colored, and you’re always wearing it.”

“Sure, sure,” the man smiles, adjusting his cap and taking a sip of his coffee, “What’s your name, by the way?”

 _My name?_ Himchan practically forgets it as his heart jumps out of his chest. Maybe he is actually going to be able to fulfill Jongup’s deal!

“Kim Himchan.”

“Himchan…” The man rolls his name around on his tongue, and Himchan suffers. The way he says his name in that deep, sexy baritone is too much for him to handle.

“I’m Bang Yongguk.”

This is more progress in one day than has happened all semester.


	2. Why Do You Shine More

~ _ One week ago~ _

“Guk? You’re staring…”

Yongguk blinks quickly, tearing his eyes away from the lovely stranger and instead resting them on his underclassman and best friend, Zelo. “What?”

“I said you’re staring,” the blue-haired youth crosses his arms on the table, “Found a new guy to pine over?”

Yongguk shrugs, “I’m not  _ pining _ . I’m going to talk to him one day, for sure.”

“Right…” Zelo rolls his eyes, earning a light punch to his shoulder, “Hey!”

“You better be grateful I brought you here,” Yongguk says, “Otherwise I’ll just leave you at home so you can attend high school like a good little boy.” He has been bringing Zelo to his college every time the kid has a fight with his parents and wants to skip school. Not the best decision, but it beats having him run away from his house to who-knows-where and end up in even more trouble.

“I’m grateful!” Zelo suddenly turns all puppy-dog eyes and aegyo, “Please don’t leave me at home.”

Yongguk chuckles, “All right. I won’t.”

“What do you like about him so much anyways?” Zelo asks, sipping from his iced tea.

Yongguk glances back at the stranger he has become so infatuated with. “I dunno. He’s so pretty, with those perfect lips and bunny teeth...And he’s quirky, from what I can see. Watching him interact with his friend is fun.”

“You’re weird,” Zelo says bluntly. Then he sighs in acquiescence, “But whatever makes you happy is fine with me.”

~

~ _ Present~ _

“Bang Yongguk…” Yongguk watches Himchan get used to his name, nodding and smiling, “Interesting name.” He forms the words slowly, wrapping his rosy lips around them, which makes the elder question whether or not this is all in his imagination. “Yongguk…”

God, the way Himchan says his name is a total turn-on. This has  _ got _ to be in his imagination. 

By practically playing 20 Questions for the next hour, Himchan proves to him that this truly isn’t a dream. In between sips of coffee, they learn as much about each other as possible before their first classes. Yongguk learns that Himchan is a Traditional Music major who loves shopping, sushi, and sleep; an above average student with a penchant for makeup and fashion. Yongguk tells him about himself as well; how he’s an English major who dabbles in music and sports, and writes so much that he fills in the margins of his notebooks whenever he runs out of space. 

The fact that they were total strangers before this morning does not seem to matter; in mere minutes, they feel less like strangers and more like friends.

And Yongguk already wants to be more than friends.

~

“I think I’m going to ask him out on a date.”

“You’re gonna  _ what _ ?” Zelo slams his thermos on the table, eyes wide and incredulous. His skateboard falls from where it was leaning on the kid’s knee, making a loud bang. 

“Like I said,” Yongguk narrows his eyes at his friend, “I’m gonna ask him out.”

“What if he’s not into guys?”

“Didn't think of that, but I'm sure I can work around it.”

“But you’ve only known him for like five days! Seriously, what the hell, Guk?” Zelo shoves his hand through his curls.

Yongguk shrugs, “Feels like more.”

“Really? What,  _ six _ days?” Zelo cringes.

“No, like all semester!” Yongguk pinches the younger’s shoulder, “I’ve been watching him for longer than you know.”

“That’s creepy. What is wrong with you lately, dude?”

The elder smiles softly, “Nothing’s wrong with me, okay? I’m just happy. Himchan is so much more than I had imagined. He’s not only gorgeous or funny, but he’s intelligent and talented and so sweet! He gave me a hug yesterday ‘just because’.” Yongguk makes the quotation marks with his fingers, “Isn’t that absolutely adorable?”

Zelo hangs his tongue out, “You’re totally grossing me out right now. I think I’m gonna take a breather.” He stands up and grabs his skateboard.

Yongguk purses his plump lips, “Please?”

“Please what?” Zelo raises a wary eyebrow.

“Help me ask him?” Yongguk smiles one of his signature gummy smiles, one of the ones that Zelo can never resist.

“Ugh,” the boy sighs, “Fine.”


	3. I Feel Like I'm In a Dream

“This relationship is turning out better than I thought,” Himchan suddenly blurts out, and he is met with three pairs of incredulous eyes.

“Relationship?” his friends chorus.

“I thought you were single,” Daehyun raises an eyebrow.

“You were able to get a boyfriend?” Youngjae scoffs.

“What the hell? You two just met!” Jongup gapes.

Himchan remains silent for a few moments. He was supposed to have thought that sentence, not said it.

He was thinking about Yongguk, of course, as he read through his Humanities textbook. There are pages about the philosophical writings of different times, and Himchan was reminded of Yongguk and his journal. The man told him that he wrote his thoughts down sometimes, other times writing lyrics for songs he might compose some day or poems he might publish. Himchan didn’t learn this upon their first meeting, but he did the next morning, when they resumed the conversation that was interrupted by daily college classes. And the next day, and the next. It has been about a week since they officially met, but Himchan likes to think that it has been much longer than that. And they are both getting along well, so well that Himchan is overcome with the hopeful thought that Yongguk might already  _ like _ him.

“Uhh…” Himchan stalls. 

“Are you seriously dating Yongguk?” Jongup presses, “I only asked you to get his number!”

Himchan processes his friend’s words slowly, “But I did get his number. Aren’t you happy?”

“I guess,” Jongup shrugs, “But you can’t possibly be dating him yet, are you?”

“Well, I’m not,” Himchan sighs, “But I’d sure as hell like to.”

Jongup rolls his eyes, “I’m not helping you.”

“Why are you so unsupportive?”

“Uhm, excuse me!” Daehyun waves his hand in between them, “I’d like to know what the heck you guys are talking about!”

“Me too,” Youngjae pouts, flipping his black hair, “I didn’t know that Kim Himchan is capable of attracting someone.”

Himchan flips him off before addressing Daehyun politely, “I made a new friend in the library a week ago and he’s really hot and sweet and sorta mysterious. I want to ask him out.”

“What’s his name?” Daehyun asks, “I might know him.”

“Why would you know him?” Youngjae asks.

“I know a lot of people, okay!”

“His name is Bang Yongguk,” Himchan replies, tired of the bickering. Once he utters the man’s name, his face becomes incredibly warm. He grins goofily and leans on his palm. “Know him?”

Daehyun shakes his head and Youngjae interrupts, rudely as usual, “Nope. But whomever he is, I’m sure he doesn’t like you back.”

“Stop being an ass, Jae,” Jongup barks, to which the black-haired man scoffs.

“Not like me?” Himchan says, “With  _ this _ face?” He gestures to his positively perfect eyebrows and lined eyes. “No way. He loves me.” He giggles, not bothered by the disapproving looks on Jongup and Youngjae’s faces.

“Well I think that’s great, Chan!” Daehyun chirps, “You should totally ask him out, then.”

“Thank you, Dae,” Himchan grins. Jongup is usually the one supportive of him, but the freshman is probably wrought with jealousy and disbelief that Himchan actually did it and his plans are foiled. 

“Good luck with that,” Jongup smirks, returning to his textbook. Finals are next week and this was supposed to be a group study session for Himchan, Daehyun, and Youngjae, but Jongup decided to tag along and everyone seemed to go off-track of studying from there.

A loud chime suddenly goes off and Himchan pulls out his phone to check. A warm blush blooms in his cheeks when he sees whom the message is from.

“Let me guess…” Jongup trails off as Himchan opens the message.

_ [Meet me in our usual place rn if u can. I have something important to tell u.] _

“Something important?” Himchan asks aloud. 

_ Dammit, not again. _

“Ooh!” Daehyun exclaims, “Maybe  _ he _ is going to ask  _ you _ out instead!”

Himchan almost squeals at that possibility. But he rethinks. “It’s probably something about finals. Don’t get my hopes up, Dae.”

“Well if it is,” Daehyun pats his shoulder, “Then you can ask him out instead!”

Himchan squeezes his shoulder back, “Thanks for the support. You’re like my best friend for that.”

“I thought I was your best friend!” Jongup whines, lips pouting cutely.

Himchan cringes, “Ew, no way. Not when you’re being so nasty and unsupportive like now.”

Jongup shoves a ‘thumbs-up’ in the elder’s direction, “Good luck! Go get him!”

Himchan chuckles at the boy’s sudden display of support. 

Youngjae shows no signs of giving in, merely a smirk and a shrug, “Have fun.”

~

Himchan truly doesn’t know what to expect when he arrives in front of Best Absolute Perfect Coffee inside of the library. 

He finds Yongguk in his usual couch, leaning back comfortably with a pen resting above his ear and his maroon notebook in hand. He has a pensive expression on his face, plump lips pursed in an exaggerated pout that makes Himchan smile to himself. Himchan nears him cautiously, wondering if there is a bouquet of flowers in the hand that hangs off the side of the couch, or a box of chocolates with the words “I Love You” printed across the top. Or maybe Yongguk is writing “Himchan is hot, sexy, and beautiful” on the lined pages of his journal.

Himchan’s face warms up at his fantasies, becoming a ripe shade of tomato red by the time he reaches the elder’s couch. It is too late to back out once Yongguk glances up at him, a smile gracing his thick lips.

“Himchan…” he says in that baritone voice of his.

“H-hey,” Himchan stutters, mentally cursing himself for being so unreasonably nervous. He musters up as much courage as he can to utter the next few words, “You have something important to tell me?”

Yongguk’s smile falls as quickly as it came. He suddenly looks anxious: his eyes go wide, he scratches the back of his neck, and his speech stutters. “Uhm, well, you see...Uhh…”

Himchan sighs in relief as he notices that the elder is just as nervous, and possibly for the same reason: confessing to his crush. “Yes?” Himchan asks, wanting the first words to come from the other.

Yongguk blurts out, “Good luck on your finals!”

Himchan is almost bursting with joy as hears the love confession. He can’t believe that Yongguk has just told him that he is entirely head-over-heels for him, that he’s so glad to know Himchan as a friend and now wants to be his boyfriend! 

Himchan holds his crimson cheek in his hand and leans on it, “Oh, Yongguk. I’m so glad that you like me. I like you too!”

“Huh?” Yongguk flushes, spontaneous combustion happening in his cheeks. “Uh…”

As the silence between them settles, Himchan realizes how many mistakes he has just made. His elated smile drops, and a newly-embarrassed blush colors his cheeks. His heartbeat quickens as adrenaline rushes through him, and he’s out of there faster than a racing cheetah. He doesn’t look back, doesn’t see if Yongguk is chasing after him, doesn’t hear if he calls.

Himchan pushes through a crowd of high school students on a college campus tour, runs past the help desk, and loses himself in the maze of bookshelves in the reference section. Then he crouches down and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

So Yongguk  _ didn’t _ confess to him. He didn’t give Himchan flowers or chocolates, or tell him that he was head-over-heels. The important thing he had to say was a simple “Good luck on your finals!” He should’ve known.

Rather than the pricks of disappointed tears in his eyes or an indifferent shrug, Himchan feels a pool of heated anger. Yongguk had to go and get his hopes up so high that he assumed the absolute best of him, only to bring it crashing down with a few words. He made Himchan embarrass himself to another dimension, and worse, he made Himchan confess to him on accident. Just great.

He leans back onto the bookcase, book spines digging into his shoulder blades. Though Himchan is furious at Yongguk, he still feels the sharp sting of regret. Why did he do something so stupid? He hasn’t regretted something so much since he wore that fur coat on a day that was  _ supposed _ to be freezing cold.

One more second later, there’s no need for such regret.


	4. It's Like I'm Dreaming

“Himchan?”

Yongguk watches the embarrassed bunny glance up at him with wide, sparkling eyes. His plump cheeks are crimson and his perfect lips are parted only slightly. All of the apprehension that Yongguk felt before has gone away with the younger’s earlier confession; his stomach is detangled, mouth not as dry, and his smile is genuine and gleeful. 

When he texted Himchan, he was determined to confess to him and ask him out, no matter what. But when he was confronted with that beautiful face that displayed such a confident expression, though a shade redder than usual, Yongguk chickened out at the possibility that his confession might not be mutual and he would never be able to see the music major’s face ever again. Hearing Himchan actually say that he liked him was straight out of Yongguk’s fantasies. 

“What?” Himchan stands up, brushing himself off and refusing to make eye contact with the elder.

“Did you mean it?”

At Yongguk’s words, Himchan flushes even deeper.

“Uhm, what? Mean what?” he starts to blabber, “That I liked you? No, no, no. It was just a joke.” Himchan laughs uncomfortably, and Yongguk can tell he’s lying. 

“Are you sure?” Yongguk steps closer, backing the younger man against a bookshelf. He doesn’t want to seem threatening, only teasing, so he gives a small smile. 

Himchan pouts, and his lips are so luscious-looking, “I’m sure. Now leave me alone. I have finals to study for…” He tries not to stare at Himchan’s mouth, but he can’t help it; his lips are so perfectly shaped and redder than cherries. He wonders if they taste as good as they look.

Yongguk grasps the younger’s chin, forcing him to look Yongguk in the face. Himchan appears to melt, grimacing and holding onto the bookshelf to keep himself up. His breath stutters in his throat and his cheeks are tomatoes as he licks his lips unconsciously. “I-I said leave me…”

Yongguk moves closer. He doesn’t think in this moment, only acts. Before he realizes it, he has pressed his lips against the angel’s, fitting perfectly. He waits for Himchan to push him away in disgust, but it doesn’t happen. Instead, the younger tangles his fingers in Yongguk’s hair and kisses him harder.

A spark goes off in the back of his head as he remembers that he is actually kissing Kim Himchan, the angelic bunny of his dreams. His lips feel soft and moist, and they taste like heaven. They move on his own lips, sucking and pressing, sneakily tasting. Yongguk lifts his arm from the edge of the bookshelf to wrap around Himchan’s waist and tug him even closer, eliciting a small whine from the bunny.

Yongguk pulls back before he takes anything more. He feels breathless, lightheaded, and warm. Hopefully Himchan feels the same; judging by his red cheeks and heavy pants, Yongguk thinks he might. They stare at each other for a moment, before Yongguk brings the younger into a tight embrace.

“Please don’t lie. Do you like me?”

A few seconds pass while Himchan catches his breath. Finally he whispers, “Yes, I really do. Will you go out with me?”

Yongguk rubs his back, “How about Monday we go out for sushi? My treat.”

“Yes!” Himchan agrees, pulling back to kiss the taller man on his cheek.


	5. You Are Not Glamorous

Today, for the first time in a long time, Himchan cannot figure out what the hell he is going to wear.

Monday is the first day of finals. Himchan and Yongguk do not have an exam today, but Jongup, Daehyun, and Youngjae do, so they have the day to themselves. Jongup took the public bus to school today so that Himchan could sleep in since he should be well-rested for his date. Himchan took full advantage of that, snoring until half past twelve. Although he did blow off Daehyun’s study session, he felt pretty good upon waking—that is, until he opened his closet.

The date isn’t until four in the afternoon and Himchan is currently faced with a horrifying dilemma. His internal agony is interrupted by his cell phone making loud duck noises.

“What is it, Jongup? I’m having a crisis here.”

“Whatever it is, it can’t be worse than mine.”

“And what could that be?” Himchan questions, picking up a shimmery pink tank top and then tossing it aside. Why doesn’t he have anything _good_ to wear?!

“My calculus professor told us that our exam was at eleven, so that’s when I arrived, but _apparently_ she changed the time and emailed us about it but I never checked my email and so I was late to my first final by a whole hour which is basically half of the testing time so I didn’t finish my test and my professor didn’t give me extra time and I’m sure I failed my first final exam!” Jongup finally takes a breath, continuing at the speed of light, “What do I do if that happens? Take the class over? Take a winter class? What? What?”

Himchan cringes. This boy is usually on top of things, but even though his eyes are constantly glued to his phone screen playing games or texting, he never once checks his emails.

Himchan throws a pair of black tights back into his closet, “I dunno, Uppie. Maybe you’ll have to take it again. But you should try to calculate your grade. Not all professors make the final exam 50%.”

A loud sigh sounds from the other end. “Fine. Thanks for listening, Chan.”

“No problem, although I still think my problem is pretty bad, even if it’s not as bad as yours.” Himchan pushes a cherry red tank top aside, reaching for a sparkling silver jacket and then realizing that it doesn’t fit him. He wants to scream in frustration.

“Can’t decide what to wear?” Jongup knows him too well.

“How’d you know?”

“I can hear your clothes rustling through the speaker. Why don’t you ask Youngjae for help?” Jongup suggests.

“You _know_ I hate asking Jae for help. Can’t you suggest something instead?” Himchan pleads. He is reminded of the constant taunting that he got from Youngjae the last time he asked for help.

“Wear a dress.”

“No way!”

“Then bye. I have grade calculations to do,” Jongup says and then hangs up.

Himchan pouts into his phone before turning it off and sighing. He surveys the chaos that is his bedroom: closet empty, its contents strewn all over the carpet and his bed, the aftermath of a clothing apocalypse.

It’s already two thirty. He could be going at this for another three hours before he finds the perfect date outfit. And if he just picks something random, then the thought of looking undesirable to Yongguk makes Himchan’s chest constrict. There’s only one person he knows who can arrange a fashionable garment attuned to one’s taste in less than five minutes.

With his tail between his legs, Himchan turns his phone back on and calls Youngjae.

“Hey. Jongup told me you might call.” The younger’s snarkiness almost makes him decide he can do this by himself, and then he remembers that he’s dressing for his date.

“Be nice with me for five minutes, okay? I need an outfit for my date with Yongguk.”

Exactly five minutes later, Himchan is dressed in grey sneakers, black pants, a grey shirt with a black jacket over it, a patterned scarf, and dark sunglasses. A simple warm outfit that Himchan probably could have come up with on his own, but not for another two hours.

He thanks Youngjae and hangs up, glad that the younger played nice with him today. Perhaps he already got a passing grade on a final, as he usually does.

Next on Himchan’s to-do list: hair. Up, or down? Gel, or no. Should he put pins, or glitter, or not?

Himchan sighs and picks one hairstyle at random. He’ll brush it down and put a tiny bit of glitter in it. Done.

He goes into his bathroom to fix his hair. Himchan always has a mirror around, be it a compact, full-length, or just in his bathroom. Every time he gazes into one, he is reminded of how beautiful he is.

And he wants Yongguk to think the same thing.

After he does his hair, he takes out his makeup bag. Inside is a huge assortment of cosmetics, from subtle peach blush, to rockin’ dayglo green eyeliner. He wears makeup every single day, usually just a natural look, saving the really bold stuff for special occasions like nightclub raves. And today is a special occasion, one that calls for slightly more than simple. Yongguk would probably laugh at him if he wore neon pink eyeshadow, but a pastel pink shouldn’t be too shocking.

Himchan laughs as he applies a thin layer of foundation to his face, imagining himself wearing the brightest of colors to his date. People at the sushi bar might turn their heads, eyes as wide as those in the clubs that Himchan frequents. But tonight should be all about Himchan and Yongguk, not trying to impress strangers. Yongguk should be the only one to notice the glitter in Himchan’s hair, the light shade change on his eyelids and cheeks, the gloss on his lips. He can’t help but smile at the thought of Yongguk complimenting him; he pauses his eyelining because of it. He giggles, leaning his forehead on the cold bathroom mirror surface.

_Today will be great._

~

Himchan should probably be studying, but he can’t think of anything else but the man sitting on the opposite side of the table as they wait for their sushi platter.

“Himchan? You’re staring.”

Himchan blinks and blushes, “Sorry...I just haven’t been on a date in so long that I’m not sure what to do.”

A gentle smile graces Yongguk’s lips. He is wearing his signature red snapback backwards, something so silly on such a handsome man that it doesn’t match, and yet he looks _perfect_. Himchan watches his plump, red lips form the next words that he barely pays attention to.

“How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long has it been since you last went on a date?” Yongguk asks.

Himchan thinks back, “A few years. I was a hormonal high schooler who had just come out to his parents by kissing his boyfriend on the lips in front of them. I think that was the last I had ever seen of Mr. Lizard.”

“Mr. Lizard?” Yongguk raises a humored eyebrow.

Himchan grins, “Yeah, he had a tiny pet lizard. I don’t remember what kind it was, but it got fried in their power box the day after he broke up with me and caused a power outage and a bad smell.” Himchan doesn’t know why he’s telling Yongguk all these stupid things. Is this what you do when you’re on a date? Tell each other about ex-boyfriends and dead pets?

“That’s awesome. Well, the poor lizard…” Yongguk grins, shrugging, “But he’s probably in a better place.”

“I guess…” Himchan trails off and then it’s awkwardly silent. He doesn’t know why, because last week their conversations wouldn’t ever end. They talked so much that sometimes their conversations carried over to the next morning. Why is there so little to talk about when they’re on a date?

“Do you have a pet?” Yongguk asks, breaking the silence.

Relieved, Himchan says, “No, but I used to have a bunny. It ran away last month.”

“How fitting.”

“That it ran away from me?”

“No!” Yongguk holds his hands up, “That you had a bunny. You remind me of one: adorable teeth, fluffy hair, big eyes. No offense meant at all.”

“Oh.” Himchan blushes again. Yongguk thinks of him like a small animal? Himchan isn’t sure if that’s a good thing or not. He wonders if that’s the only reason why the English major likes him, and realizes too late that he has wondered _aloud_.

“Is that the only reason why you like me?”

“No!” Yongguk denies again, face reddening and shaking his head, “Stop that, please. I’m not trying to belittle you…”

“Me neither, sorry.” _Dates are more complicated than I remember._ Himchan takes a breath and then re-words his question, “Why _do_ you like me, Yongguk?”

Still appearing flustered, Yongguk leans his elbow on the table and sighs, smiling slightly, “For a million reasons. I can’t count them on all the fingers and toes I have. But I suppose…” He opens one hand and gets ready to count, “I could try.”

Himchan leans forward, shame thrown out the window as he’s ready to be flattered. This is what he dressed up for, what he mustered up the nerve to ask of Youngjae’s help for, why he’s wearing glitter in his hair and pink in the creases of his eyelids.

“Your contagious laugh, your cute nose, those shiny eyes,” Yongguk starts.

Himchan’s ego blossoms with every word, and it feels good. His smile stretches wider unconsciously and his eyelashes flutter dreamily.

“Your soft hands,” Yongguk reaches over and takes the younger’s hands into his. His face is incredibly close to Himchan’s, nothing between them but the cold winter air. “Your perfect red lips…”

 _That’s it. He’s going to kiss me again._ Himchan thinks, but he’s proven wrong by the waiter arriving to their table carrying a platter.

“Here you are,” he sets it down in between them, “Chef’s Special Platter. Enjoy.”

Himchan watches him go with a frown, miffed that the waiter interrupted his flattery session.

“Himchan?” Yongguk asks, his eyes still focused on Himchan like nothing else matters. He doesn’t look like he _knows_ that the food has arrived.

And Himchan is glad. “Sorry. Continue…” he sighs and leans on his palm, other hand still covered by the elder’s.

Yongguk chuckles softly, “I like how perfect your makeup always is, how comfortable you are in your clothing, and I especially love your sense of style. You’re always _so_ beautiful.”

_He said it._

_Beautiful._

Himchan giggles uncontrollably, yanking his hand away and covering his face, embarrassed.

Yongguk leans over, trying to peek between the younger’s fingers, “Himchan?”

Himchan doesn’t answer, face still smushed into his palms.

“Himchan? Chan?” Yongguk calls, reaching over to pull at one of the other’s fingers to pry it from his face, “Babe?”

Himchan sits up straight immediately, dropping his hands. “Did you just call me ‘babe’?”

“Do you dislike it?” Yongguk asks.

Himchan blushes, looking away and picking up his chopsticks, “Can we just eat, already?”

The elder picks up his own chopsticks, tapping them on Himchan’s head. “Do you _dislike_ it?”

Himchan locks eyes with him for one second and the truth rushes out of him like a waterfall, “No, I don't. I _love_ it. _Please_ call me that all the time.”

Yongguk snorts, “Of course. You may also call me whatever you wish.”

Himchan thinks for a moment, snapping his chopsticks apart and picking up a tuna roll with them. He shoves it in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully. Two nicknames pop up in his mind at the same time.

“I like ‘mystery man’, but that’s too long. So I’ll call you ‘Gukkie’. It’s cute.”

“It is,” Yongguk gives him a crooked smile, opening his chopsticks as well, “But why ‘mystery man’? I’m not that mysterious.”

Himchan laughs, capturing another roll, “Before we met, you were. I used to watch you writing in your silly journal like every day and it _killed_ me not to know your name. All I knew was that you were obsessed with iced caramel macchiatos and your ballpoint pen!”

“I am not obsessed,” Yongguk furrows his brows in mock offense, “And it’s a _gel_ pen.”

Himchan gives him an ‘are-you-serious?’ look before they both burst into laughter so loud and obnoxious that it bothers the other customers. Not that they care; the two men have quickly realized just how compatible they are. Yongguk, with his gentle, caring, and strong manner not without a few quirks; Himchan, with his high capacity for love, playful nature, and immense beauty.  

The hours pass unknowingly. The sushi platter slowly dwindles until it’s nothing but a ceramic plate with a few crumbs on it, and the customers have all but gone. It’s closing time before they know it and the two don’t leave until the employees come to kick them out.

Himchan trails after Yongguk, holding hands and grinning. They stop in front of the restaurant, realizing that their cars are the only ones left in the front parking lot.

Himchan pulls out his car keys hesitantly, “I have a final tomorrow.”

“Me too,” Yongguk sighs, scratching his head, “And I’ve gotta study for it tonight.”

“It _is_ tonight, dummy.”

“Oh, so I’m ‘dummy’ now?”

“Fine. _Gukkie~_ ” Himchan sing-songs. The nickname is catching on.

“I could kiss you right now.”

“No way, I taste like raw tuna and seaweed.”

Yongguk leans in anyways, and Himchan can do nothing to stop him. Their lips connect, briefly yet somehow long enough.

The elder stands up straight, “You taste delicious. Don’t ever deny yourself anything, especially not one of my kisses...Babe.” He winks.

Himchan blushes and grips more tightly on his new boyfriend’s hand, leaning up on his tippy toes to steal a second kiss. “Okay. Then I plan to indulge.”


	6. I Know You Want It

Yongguk has taken Himchan out on a romantic date every single day on the week of finals. They went to relaxing restaurants, pounding clubs, and loud karaoke bars; one time, just to take a break from all the crowds they stayed inside Yongguk’s dorm and made out for a while, and then ate bowls of instant ramen and ice cream. The level of comfort that Yongguk has around his now-boyfriend is rising with every day, at a rate that is probably ill-advised since they've only known each other for a few weeks, but Himchan doesn't seem to mind. And neither does Yongguk.

After their upperclassmen’s graduation, one of the graduates is having a party to celebrate, and somehow Daehyun has snagged invites for all five of them (excluding Zelo of course because no  _ way _ would Yongguk allow the boy to attend a college party). It is being held at a prestigious mansion on the other side of the city after nine at night and Yongguk only plans to attend for a short time, but he supposes he’ll leave around the time Himchan does.

The mansion glows from within with alternating colors and music blaring to the large front yard where some students are dancing. Yongguk approaches the premises with Himchan’s cool hand gripped in his own. Daehyun, Youngjae, and Jongup trail behind them, carrying bunches of glowsticks that they intend to pass out to anyone who will take one.

Yongguk glances down at his boyfriend just before they enter. The younger is dressed in a black tank top and white jeans, glow-in-the-dark glasses atop his head to match the theme of glowing lights. His eyeshadow is neon pink and his lips are a glossy red, and if they were not in the view of hundreds of people, Yongguk would capture the plump lips passionately right there and then.

Well, maybe there’ll be time for that later. 

Daehyun rings the doorbell and then hands the greeter their invites, earning them entrance into the massive college party. The view is chaotic; colorful, constantly moving, and dizzying. Some students mark them with glowing face paint as they walk in. Jongup grins as they paint two lines on his cheeks, reminiscent of football war paint yet in highlighter yellow. Yongguk is painted with red lines, and Himchan with green and yellow. The younger smiles at him, blindingly beautiful as usual, and Yongguk sighs. 

Once they get through the throng of young adults crowded at the front door, Yongguk’s eyes zero in on a certain someone standing behind the DJ turntable. A certain someone who should  _ not _ be here at all.

“Zelo?” he stamps his way through the students, ignoring his friends and boyfriend and letting them disappear into the crowds. “What the hell are you doing here?”

The blue-haired teenager is clad in beige shorts and a flannel T-shirt, a pair of red headphones hanging around his neck and glow-in-the-dark paint marking his cheeks. He ignores Yongguk for a moment as he chooses a new song to blast on the speakers, and then looks up at his friend with a cheeky grin.

“Yes, Guk? Is there something you need?” Zelo picks up a red plastic cup from his table and takes a sip.

Yongguk snatches the drink from the high schooler’s hand, “Oh, no! You are  _ not _ drinking booze, are you?”

“Yup,” Zelo winks, running a hand through his hair, “They pay me in drinks. Margheritas are pretty tasty. I like mine melon-flavored.”

Yongguk feels warm in his cheeks. He is supposed to be responsible for this kid; how could he become an alcohol-downing DJ when he wasn’t looking?

“Well you’re not getting  _ any _ more, I’ll make sure that they pay you the normal way,” Yongguk crushes the red cup, splashing the clear liquid on the wool carpet.

Zelo watches him spill the drink with an almost humorous smirk, “You idiot. You’re really lucky that’s only water.”

Yongguk raises an eyebrow at him, and then smells the drink. Nothing reminiscent of alcohol wafts in his nostrils. “Oh...So you  _ aren’t _ being paid in drinks?”

“Nope,” Zelo sighs, changing the song again. “The normal way. $100 flat rate. Pretty good pay, if you ask me.”

“Okay, well,” Yongguk places the crushes cup down on the turntable sheepishly, “That’s good then.”

“You seriously need to stop worrying about me,” Zelo tosses the cup into a waste basket standing beside the table, “I can handle myself. Your boyfriend on the other hand…”

Yongguk follows the teenager’s gaze to the opposite side of the room where Himchan is taking what looks like his third shot based on the empty glasses resting on the table in front of him. Youngjae is standing above him with a snide grin on his face, and Daehyun has his arm hanging around Youngjae’s shoulder, laughter bubbling out of him uncontrollably. Jongup is lying down across a couch next to Himchan, a red cup in his hand and chest bouncing with hiccups. In the first ten minutes of entering this college party, it appears that the four boys have gotten incredibly tipsy, while Yongguk has yet to drink a single sip.

“You should be watching over him,” Zelo comments, “Someone might steal your little bunny away.”

Yongguk feel hot in his cheeks. He stomps over to the group of friends, bracing himself for their annoyances.

Himchan looks up at him with glazed eyes, his shot glass dangling in the air, unfinished. “Gukkie!” he exclaims, jumping up and clinging to his boyfriend, “Where’ve you been? We couldn’t wait for ya before drinking…” he giggles uncontrollably.

Yongguk takes the shot glass from his hand and wraps a protective arm around the younger, glaring at the other three boys, “Which one of you made my babe drink vodka? I told you he can only handle a bit of wine.”

In response, Jongup snores, Daehyun laughs to himself, and Youngjae lets out an evil cackle before drinking heavily from another red cup. It could be either of them, though Yongguk is pretty sure that Youngjae is the culprit. He has a not-so-innocent glint in his eyes.

Yongguk would like very much to pick the boy up by his neon green shirt and throw him into another dimension, but he has more pressing matters to attend to.

“Gukkie…” Himchan whispers in his ear, tone nearing sensual, “Do you want somethin’ to drink too?” He slurs his words only slightly, meaning he’s just barely tipsy. He’ll be sober within an hour.

Yongguk shakes his head, cheeks flushing, “N-no thanks.”  _ God, he’s a gorgeous angel... _

Himchan pouts, but then shrugs, seeming content with just being wrapped is his boyfriend’s arms. “Then maybe...you wanna dance with me?” 

At the glimpse of those pearly-white bunny teeth, Yongguk nods so hard he almost gets whiplash. Himchan drags him to the ballroom off the main floor. There are speakers placed high up in each room that blast Zelo’s playlists, and the volume is turned way up in the large, circular room full of bobbing young adults. A bass-booming hip-hop song reverberates around, bouncing off the full-length mirrors hung on the patterned walls. The room is something out of a fairy tale, yet the songs that play and the clothes that the partygoers wear do not match the age-old feel of the ballroom.

“C’mere,” Himchan says, bumping into Yongguk clumsily before tugging him into the center of the dance floor. They shove through dancing couples without a single ‘sorry’ or ‘excuse me’, push past sweaty bodies covered in glowing paint and wearing neon necklaces and bracelets. Himchan finds a nice, mostly open spot over the fleur-de-lis decal on the floor.

“Have you ever danced before?” Himchan asks, voice low.

“A bit, but I’m not made for it like Jongup,” Yongguk says, placing his hand at the younger’s hip and moving in time with the beat.

Himchan moves his arms up and down, one then the other, slowly. Yongguk feels his hips swinging from side to side, pressing against his hand. The elder grips more tightly, digging his thumb into Himchan’s hipbone. He’s not sure what he’s doing, but it feels right and the satisfied smile on Himchan’s face makes him feel good about himself.

“Am I doing it right?” he asks.

Himchan opens his eyes; how long he had them closed, Yongguk doesn’t know. “Yeah. Just hold me.”

Yongguk puts his other hand on Himchan’s hip as well, drawing him closer and closer until their chests touch. Himchan stops moving and glances up at him with wide eyes.

“What?” Yongguk questions, hoping he didn’t do something wrong.

Himchan shrugs, “Nothing. It’s just harder for me to move if we’re so close together.”

Yongguk raises an eyebrow. The song in the background is now slow and sensual, still party music but with less bass. He has an idea.  “How about we move like this instead…”

Yongguk lifts Himchan’s arms to clasp around his neck, then starts shifting from one foot to the other, changing his steps slightly until they have fallen into a slow, soothing rhythm. The students around them give a bit of space, taking notice of the romantic, content aura that radiates from the couple. Himchan leans his head on the elder’s chest, his jet black hair tickling Yongguk’s nose.

“Love you, babe,” Yongguk whispers, ghosting his lips over the top of Himchan’s head. He smells like watermelon shampoo and subtle rain.

“Hm?” Himchan pulls back, eyes wide again, “You love me?”

Yongguk shrugs, a sheepish grin on his lips, “Yeah. What about you?”

Himchan answers with a red blush, deeper than that caused by alcohol. He holds the elder closer, burying his warm face in Yongguk’s neck. The words he speaks next feel hot against Yongguk’s skin.

“I love you too, my mystery man…”

Yongguk tightens the embrace. They have all but stopped dancing, though the music and other partygoers continue on. He feels a blooming in his chest, and then a tiny voice reminds him of something.

“Do you mean it, babe? You’ve been drinking…” Yongguk says, and then realizes how inconsiderate it sounds when it’s already too late.

“Of course I mean it!” Himchan claims, eyebrows furrowed, “Why else would I say it?”

“Sorry, sorry,” the elder holds his hands up defensively, “I’m just being silly. Come on; let’s keep dancing.”

Himchan continues warily, slowly picking the pace back up. There are a few inches of space between them, but Yongguk makes sure to close them, bringing them back into the embrace of earlier. He runs his fingers through the younger’s hair, pressing the small of his back gently. 

“You really don’t think I love you?” Himchan asks still, pausing his motions for a second.

“Babe...I  _ know _ that you love me. Stop worrying.”  _ Why is he so mad at me? I was only thinking logically. _

“Then why…” Himchan starts, lowering his volume, “haven’t we had sex yet?”

Now it’s Yongguk’s turn to be surprised. 

“Uhm…” he trails off. This is definitely not something he wants to get himself into. The reason why they haven’t had sex yet is simply because Yongguk isn’t sure that either of them are ready for it. They’ve only been together for a bit more than a week!

“Gukkie…” Himchan whispers, eyebrows knit in impatience. He stands up on his tiptoes to lean closer to the elder’s ear, “I’m waiting…”

Yongguk blushes. So  _ this _ is what Himchan gets like when he’s horny.

“Uh...Why? I don’t know. You tell me,” he lies.

“Hmm…” Himchan breathes into the elder’s ear, “Maybe it’s because I’m not pretty enough?”

Yongguk sputters, “You’re  _ gorgeous _ . That’s not it, trust me.” In fact, his gorgeous face is so close to him that he can see a tiny mole on his cheek. So close, so beautiful, so ready for the taking. 

Yongguk licks his lips unconsciously at the thought of it all. How badly he wants to make love to Himchan, how desperate he is to fill the handsome man to the brim and make him scream in pleasure. The reason why they haven’t yet is nowhere near because Yongguk doesn’t want to. 

He wants to, very very badly.  

“Then what could it be?” Himchan asks with a lilt in his voice. “What could it be?” he places brief kisses on the elder’s neck, trailing upwards to his ear, “What?” Himchan bites onto his ear, and then suckles it so loudly that Yongguk worries everyone can hear.

Yongguk groans low in his throat, gripping onto his boyfriend’s waist tightly. He knows what Himchan is doing very well, and he’s not about to stop him. This is what Himchan wants, and Yongguk is going to give it to him. He will always do the best for his precious bunny boyfriend.

“Do you like that?” Himchan whispers, licking and sucking the elder’s ear. An action that should probably feel gross, yet it induces pleasurable shivers down his spine.

“Yeah,” Yongguk says, grateful that the other students are too busy dancing or making out themselves to notice what he and Himchan are doing.

“What about this?” Himchan kisses down to the other’s collarbone, biting and sucking the skin stretched over it.

The kisses are starting to go to Yongguk’s groin. He feels a bit warmer there, a bit tighter in his jeans. Himchan takes hold of his bottom lip with his teeth, and then sucks on it. Yongguk loves the hint of dominance that his boyfriend is displaying right now, and he anticipates dominating him in bed.

They kiss with passion, a tad animalistic. Yongguk tries to be gentle with his bunny, but when Himchan bites him like that, he can’t help but fight back. Their tongues dance as if they are the ones in the ballroom. Then Yongguk pulls back, leaving Himchan with a dissatisfied whimper.

“We should be dancing,” Yongguk says, a smirk on his plump lips.

Himchan licks his wet, red lips, “We should be, shouldn’t we...” Then he smirks as well, and his eyebrows bounce, as if a lightbulb has switched on in his head. 

Yongguk isn’t sure if he’ll like this idea.

Himchan suddenly spins around in the elder’s embrace with a flourish only he is capable of, pressing his back to Yongguk’s chest. He adjusts the other’s hands to rest loosely around his waist, placing his own hand atop them.

“Just relax,” he warns, lifting his other hand up to lightly grasp Yongguk’s neck.

Yongguk reddens, heartbeat racing a mile a minute. He’s unable to relax with this gorgeous man in his arms, no space in between his crotch and the other’s ass. But he’ll try.

He breathes out a sigh onto Himchan’s neck, and then the younger starts moving. He sways in rhythm of the music, gyrating his hips. Yongguk feels his lean muscles contracting in his abs, and then tightens his hold on the music major, starting to move against his boyfriend. 

A sigh rushes out of Himchan as he brushes against something that is beginning to harden. He leans his head back on the Yongguk’s shoulder, eyes closed and long eyelashes resting on his cheekbones. His neon makeup is accentuated in the lighting and Yongguk is struck by how bold and beautiful he looks. He watches Himchan’s chest rise and fall, faster and faster. A few beads of sweat form on his forehead, and one falls down his temple. The room is warm with the heat of so many dancing bodies, and Himchan’s motions only make it even hotter.

Yongguk grinds upwards as Himchan does downwards, dragging a small groan from the elder. Himchan chuckles, grinding harder against him in response.

“Damn…” Yongguk whispers as Himchan presses just right. Pretty soon, he won’t be able to control himself anymore.

“Loving it, Gukkie?” Himchan asks. “I learned it from Jongup.”

Yongguk doesn’t answer with words and kisses his boyfriend’s neck instead, just a twinge of jealously evident in his bites as Himchan mentioned another man’s name. He licks trails up and down it, and leaves many small hickeys. He unhooks his hands from the younger’s waist and lets them wander around his torso, straying away from his most sensitive areas. Yongguk kisses upwards until he bites down on his boyfriend’s little ear.

Then Himchan lets out a sound so brief, so quiet, yet so close to a moan that it shoots right to Yongguk’s groin.  

He can’t take it anymore. All resolve has flown out the door of this party mansion.

Yongguk takes hold of his boyfriend’s hand and pulls him through the crowd, out the door and up the gilded stairs. 

“Gukkie, hurry up…” Himchan whispers, clinging to the elder’s arm as Yongguk looks through the many rooms to find an unoccupied one. Let’s just say he was faced with many unhappy couples as he opened the doors in a hurry.

“I could take you right here if I wanted to, but I don’t need an audience.” Yongguk pulls his boyfriend into the last room at the end of the hall and locks the door. “I only need you.”


	7. I Feel So Good

Himchan falls backwards onto the soft bed with a loud sigh. Yongguk’s weight on top of him drags a moan out of Himchan as his crotch is pressed, something that has been neglected all through their sensual dancing. Himchan ruts upwards, gaining his much-desired friction and a burst of pleasure.

“Yongguk!” he moans, breathless and almost delirious with pleasure.

“Need me that badly, babe?” the elder whispers, rocking into him once and then pausing.  _ Damn tease. _

Himchan nods, hands reaching up to grip the collar of his boyfriend’s black vest, “I’ve needed you ever since I laid eyes on you.”

Yongguk raises an eyebrow, smiling at his words and Himchan blushes. “It’s true.”

His boyfriend laughs, sitting up and taking his vest off, leaving his glow-paint-marked white shirt on. “I believe you.” Then he leans down to capture Himchan’s lips.

Himchan has always thought that Yongguk’s mouth is the most delectable thing he’s ever tasted. His lips are gorgeous and plump, like pillows, and his tongue is so incredibly skilled, moving with precision to touch the most sensitive parts of Himchan’s mouth. Yongguk always has him melting into a puddle every time they kiss. 

The kisses they share are gentle, yet passionate. Yongguk hold him close, chests pressed together. Himchan raises his hips and wraps his legs around his boyfriend’s waist, urging him to continue because he’s not sure he can hold out any longer. He loves being kissed by Yongguk, but the tightness in his pants is urging him to take it further.

“Guk…” Himchan moans into their kiss, “More...”

Yongguk complies, reaching down with his hand to grasp the younger’s erection through his pants. Himchan hisses at the contact, hips unconsciously snapping upwards. But it’s still not enough.

Himchan pulls at his boyfriend’s white shirt, a desperate attempt to get it off. Yongguk laughs softly, breath warm against the side of Himchan’s neck, and gently peels Himchan’s fingers from his shirt so he can remove it. The glow paint-marked shirt is tossed aside as Yongguk moves in to take off Himchan’s black tank top as well. The rest comes off just as quickly; Yongguk is down to his boxers and Himchan down to nothing in a matter of seconds.

Himchan tugs at the elder’s boxers, wanting them off too, but Yongguk stops him. 

“What is it?” Himchan asks. “Don’t you want to do this?”

Yongguk nods, “Yes, of course. I just want to make sure that you’re ready first. I don’t think I’d be able to hold back if we’re skin-to-skin.”

Himchan blushes.  _ Ready? _ What does Yongguk mean by that?

He gets his answer in the form of Yongguk pressing his fingers against Himchan’s lips.

Without a moment of hesitation, Himchan lets three of the elder’s fingers into his mouth. He sucks on them, letting his eyes lock with Yongguk’s. 

The man has sweat dripping down his temple already as he drops his eyes to the bare body before him. His gaze roams Himchan’s torso, trails down one of his legs as Yongguk touches his pale thigh with his free hand. He presses his thumb into the softness of his inner thigh, slowly lifting his leg up to expose the region that so few have seen.

“You’re beautiful.”

_ There’s the word he loves so much.  _ Himchan watches his boyfriend take in the sight. His gaze is burning hot, sending shivers throughout the younger’s body. He licks around Yongguk’s fingers once more before his boyfriend slips them out of his mouth and lowers them to gently prod his entrance.

“Is it okay?” Yongguk asks, ever the gentleman.

Himchan nods, anticipating a sensation his hasn’t felt in quite a while.

Yongguk inserts one finger, eyes still locked with Himchan’s and full of concern. Himchan grips the sheets, urging his boyfriend to put another one in, and then another. The intrusion is unfamiliar and unpleasant, but Himchan endures, knowing it will get better. After a few moments of stretching and pressing, it actually begins to feel enjoyable. 

Not to mention that Yongguk is simultaneously tending to the painful hard-on that Himchan has had for the past ten minutes. Himchan can’t help but buck into his boyfriend’s hand, moaning shamelessly as Yongguk bends his head down to connect his lips to Himchan’s pert nipple, sucking hard. While his fingers continue to poke and squeeze, his mouth moves downward, kissing and sucking.

The attack on multiple places on Himchan’s body puts him on Cloud 9.

“Yongguk!” he gasps when the elder’s fingers press something in him that makes him see stars. 

Yongguk pauses and looks up, “You alright?”

Himchan’s eyelashes flutter as he searches for the elder’s eyes. His own voice is soft, “I’m fine...Keep going.”

Yongguk nods, resuming the scissoring motions with his fingers. He lowers his mouth to the side of Himchan’s neck, a soft kiss placed there, and then connects his lips with Himchan’s again.

Himchan is growing delirious with all of these loving touches. He is beginning to think of this passionate sexual encounter as pure lovemaking.

“Gukkie…” Himchan breathes out once the elder breaks the kiss, noticing how comfortable he is with three fingers lodged inside of him, “I think I’m ready now.”

Yongguk gives him a sparkling, gentle smile. “Okay.” 

He pulls his fingers out slowly. Himchan whimpers slightly at the sudden loss. Yongguk rubs his sides soothingly before he gets up to slide his boxers down.

Himchan watches him with hazy eyes. He has only seen Yongguk in layers of clothing so far, but seeing him without anything is too much for him to handle. Himchan didn’t pay attention until now. Yongguk’s skin is golden, glistening with a thin layer of sweat. He looks just as thin as he does with clothing, but Himchan can actually  _ see _ the ripple of lean muscle that makes up Yongguk’s body. He has tight abs and those strong biceps that Himchan has felt wrapped around himself many times before. And the length that stands proudly below…

Himchan shudders, biting his lips as he imagines what is to come. “Yongguk, hurry up…”

“Hold on, babe,” Yongguk gets up and starts rummaging around in his pants for some reason, which reminds Himchan of something important.

“Don’t we need a condom?” Himchan asks, echoing the tiny voice of Jongup nagging in the back of his mind.

With an endearing smirk, Yongguk whips out a square foil packet, “You’re in luck.”

Himchan snorts, “Someone’s prepared.”

The elder tears the wrapping open, “I’ve always carried one in my wallet, ever since I was in high school. For special cases like this.” He leans on his knees on the bed again.

Himchan smiles, and then sits up slowly, taking the latex circle from his boyfriend’s hands. “Allow me,” he whispers. He stretches the condom between his fingers, placing it over the head of Yongguk’s cock. Himchan glances up at the elder, eyes half-lidded and sultry, as he lowers the latex down over Yongguk’s entire length. He stares at the cock before him; how long has it been since he last had one standing and ready to take him?

“We don’t have any lube,” Himchan says, licking his lips.

Yongguk doesn’t say anything, only watches the younger go down on his latex-sheathed member.

Himchan wraps his lips around his boyfriend’s cock, sucking on him as he slides down and takes in as much as he possibly can, letting his saliva coat it evenly. It tastes mildly unpleasant, but Himchan doesn’t care as he is more concerned with the feeling of the large length inside of his mouth. He sucks once more, moaning around it, before releasing with a lewd pop.

The gaze that Yongguk is giving him is so heated that the man is basically fucking him with his eyes.

Himchan waits to be pushed down and taken hard, but that doesn’t exactly happen. Yongguk gently presses the younger back onto the bed, grabbing the pillow and placing it under his head. Himchan watches his boyfriend proceed with an incredible gentleness that is unfamiliar to him. Although it was so long ago, Himchan knows that not a single one of his previous boyfriends put in the same amount of effort to make Himchan feel comfortable and loved.

Yongguk lifts up both of his knees, fingers digging into his plush thighs. “You ready?”

Himchan blushes, “Don’t ask me that! Just…”

He trails off as Yongguk starts pushing in. There is a strong burning sensation for a few minutes, and then it slowly turns into a subtle discomfort as Himchan gets used to being filled up. His face feels warm as well, but in a much more pleasant way.

Himchan watches Yongguk’s eyes squeeze shut and his muscles tense once he’s in all the way. Hot breaths escape his plump lips, puffing onto Himchan’s neck. The crown of his head is right under Himchan’s nose. Yongguk’s hair smells of warm sweat and cologne, a musky scent that Himchan can’t get enough.

“Gukkie…” he moans when the discomfort of his own erection reminds him of the friction he needs.

Yongguk looks up, cheeks a scarlet red.  _ Do I feel that good? _ Himchan can’t imagine what else could possibly make the handsome man so hot and flustered.

“Okay,” Yongguk replies and Himchan doesn’t even know what he’s answering since his own mind is so hazy, but his senses spark back to life once the elder starts moving inside of him.

Himchan waits for his shallow thrusts to get faster, but Yongguk surprises him again by sticking with the slow, passionate way he moves. He is exceedingly gentle with every touch and movement, and Himchan is captivated. He soon moves in time with Yongguk.

Himchan’s head is nestled in the feather pillow, his thin fingers gripping the corners of it. He arches upwards, meeting every single one of Yongguk’s gentle thrusts. Himchan has always thought that he wanted sex hard and rough, but the care and attention that his boyfriend gives is so endearing—it’s exactly what Himchan wants, and never knew he needed. He wants Yongguk to speed up and make him come already, but at the same time he wants to take it slow and savor the moment.

This is his first time with Yongguk, his sobering mind finally lets him realize. 

And it feels…

“Babe…” Yongguk groans into Himchan’s ear, kissing and sucking on the lobe.

“Gukkie,” Himchan whispers, and then the elder hits a particularly sensitive spot, causing the younger to gasp.

Yongguk pulls back to look at him, not pausing what his hips are doing, “You okay?”

Himchan nods repeatedly, releasing the pillow and grasping his boyfriend’s cheeks, “It just  feels... _ so _ good.”

Yongguk smiles, plush lips stretched into such a gorgeous grin that Himchan falls in love with it over again, and then lowers to kiss him. Himchan can hear the slight creaks that the bed makes beneath their passionate movements, and the pounding of the music that seeps in from outside; but most of all, he can hear the wet sounds that their lips make. Himchan pushes his hands back to tangle in Yongguk’s hair, losing himself to the sensations.

The thrusts that come from below seem to take over Himchan’s entire body; a shock is send upwards each time Yongguk pushes his cock all the way into Himchan’s walls. Somehow, he keeps hitting that same exact spot over and over again and Himchan finds himself unable to hold back any longer.

“Guk, I’m close—” he cuts off as the pool of heat engulfs him. Himchan tosses his head back and squeezes his eyes, pleasurable spasms overcoming him as his cum spurts onto both of their chests. He clenches around Yongguk’s cock involuntarily, and Himchan’s name falls from Yongguk’s lips over and over as he climaxes in turn.

Himchan relaxes with a gasp, limp and and mind clouded over. He closes his eyes for a moment, feeling the weight above him fall onto him gently. Yongguk feels so warm, his heartbeat racing on Himchan’s skin. He breathes heavily onto Himchan’s neck, and then leans down to kiss the sweaty pale skin. 

Himchan cannot seem to catch his breath. Of all the times he’s had sex, none of them even compare to this, and he’s so incredibly glad that it has happened with Yongguk. He could stay in this bubble of time forever and never want to leave.

Yongguk lifts up a bit and leans on his elbows. His eyes are glazed and his lips are kiss-swollen, and Himchan swears he could never be more handsome. Or more  _ his _ . 

“You’re amazing,” Himchan whispers, raising his hand to rest on the back of his boyfriend’s neck.

“And you’re beautiful,” Yongguk says, kissing Himchan sweetly.

“Thank you.”

“Would you like to continue this at home?” Yongguk asks, brushing the younger’s sweaty bangs to the side.

“Of course.”


	8. Epilogue: Feels Like It's Love (LOVE LOVE LOVE)

_ ~Five Years Later~ _

[ _ Where we first met.] _

When Himchan receives a cryptic text from Yongguk on the day of their five-year anniversary, he is out the door in seconds. (Of course he stops to put on some glittery eye makeup, he hasn’t changed  _ that  _ much.)

It’s the Saturday before Zelo’s final exams as a fifth-year senior. Yongguk has been on his back about studying for each exam, and Himchan has been supporting him all the way. The youngest of their friends is finally about to graduate—although a semester later than planned—and every single one of them is pumped for Zelo. 

_ Where we first met? _ That would be their university library, right in front of B.A.P Coffee, which is still there after five whole years. Himchan feels warm in his chest as he remembers their first conversation, their first coffee, and then their first kiss. Everyone was wrong when they said that the two of them wouldn’t last long since they got together in such a rush; Himchan and Yongguk love each other just as much as they did at the beginning, if not far more. A semester of watching from afar and pining prompts a kind of affection unlike any other.

Himchan parks in the university parking lot and pays that stupid fee, which he can’t even bring himself to be irritated about today because Yongguk needs him here. He hurries out of his car, down the sidewalk, up the stone stairs and into the university library. There are a few students going in and out of it, just enough on a Saturday to signal that finals are indeed approaching. 

B.A.P Coffee is open. Students are in line at the counter, buying coffee that will hopefully keep them awake as they cram. Himchan scans the area, and when he find what he’s looking for, warmth blossoms in his chest, as it always does when he looks at his lover.

Yongguk is seated in his usual seat from senior year, drinking coffee and writing in his new maroon journal. He has stubble on his face and he’s missing his red snapback, but the image is still nostalgic. 

Himchan approaches, hand placed on his heart. He saw Yongguk a few days ago, so why does it feel like he hasn’t seen him in so long? Perhaps because this place brings back so many old memories.

“Gukkie?”

Yongguk looks up from his journal and his face breaks out in a characteristically gummy smile, “Hey, babe.” He stands up and places his coffee and journal on the table next to him. Then he grasps Himchan’s chin and kisses him softly. “Happy anniversary.”

Himchan’s eyelashes flutter as he grins, blushing. He hugs his boyfriend tightly, burying his face in his shoulder. Of course Yongguk would want to have a date in the place that they first met. He always does the most romantic things, and even though he has only kissed him so far, Himchan can detect more to come.

“Happy fifth anniversary, Yongguk,” Himchan pulls back, still holding the elder’s hands.

The coffee stand server calls a number and Yongguk suddenly hold up a finger, going over to the counter to receive a second cup of coffee. He walks back over and hands the hot caramel macchiato to Himchan.

“I hope you like hot coffee.” 

Himchan’s smile widens. He takes the coffee and sips from it. “Ouch!”

Yongguk snorts, ruffling the younger’s hair, “Be careful...You know, I’ve seen you around here often.”

Himchan slaps his hand away. “I was kidding. Is this seriously going to be a repeat of our first meeting?” 

Yongguk shrugs, “Not really.”

“Why not? I kinda liked that idea.” Himchan drinks a bit more coffee, eyes looking into the cup. When he looks back at Yongguk, his boyfriend is handing him his new maroon journal.

“Is this for me?” Himchan raises an eyebrow, taking the book hesitantly. The thought of Yongguk giving him his journal is almost unthinkable; he has written in three more since they got together, and he has never let Himchan read a single page, let alone give him a full journal.

“No,” Yongguk says, and then waves away the sudden frown on Himchan’s face, “I haven’t written much in it yet. Anyways, you’re going to want what’s inside of it  _ much _ more instead.”

Himchan imagines an anniversary card or a dried flower smashed in between the pages of the maroon journal. Something sweet and very Yongguk. But what Himchan actually finds makes his jaw drop.

A band made of intricately weaved gold is nestled in the middle of the journal, among blank lined pages and a ribbon bookmark. He takes it out and examines the beautiful piece of jewelry, too overcome with emotion to speak. It’s absolutely beautiful and Himchan is breathless with happiness and gratitude. 

Just as he is about to put it on, Yongguk takes it from him.

And gets on one knee.

In front of B.A.P Coffee in the library, in front of cramming university students and their wide open textbooks.

“Kim Himchan…” Yongguk starts, holding the younger’s left hand gently. Himchan’s breath stutters and his heartbeat picks up the pace. “ Ever since I laid my eyes on you in senior year, I have wanted to ask you out. A few weeks later, I did.” How could Himchan possibly forget? “But ever since that moment, I'd always wanted something more. And now, after five whole years, I have finally found the courage to ask you: Will you marry me?”

With every single word, Himchan’s heart beats faster and faster. He feels like he’s suffocating and floating on a cloud at the same time. When Yongguk places the ring around his finger, he’s not sure if he wants to throw up or throw his arms around his boyfriend and give him a big hug. Wait, not boyfriend.  _ Fiancé.  _ If Himchan wants him to be.

_ If. _

“Of course!” Himchan exclaims, dropping to his knees and wrapping his arms around his new fiancé. Yongguk is  _ his fiancé. _ The thought seems strange to Himchan, yet at the same time like the best thing in the world, and so  _ right _ somehow, like he’s been waiting for this ever since they started going out.

Yongguk’s arms are strong around him, safe and secure. Himchan lifts his left hand to his eyes and stares at the golden ring around his finger. He’s having trouble processing right now, and has to keep repeating to himself: this ring is  _ his _ , this  _ man _ is his. For now and forever.

Suddenly, loud applause sounds from around them. Himchan looks up, loosening the embrace only slightly. Every single one of the students who were buried in their books before are standing in a circle around the couple and clapping. Some are videotaping them, and one is actually crying. 

Himchan feels a sudden wetness on his cheeks and realizes he just might be crying too. 

He flushes and clings to Yongguk, burying his face back into his neck. The elder laughs, a soft sound that is so comforting to Himchan, and holds onto him tightly. 

In this place where they pined after each other, where they met and drank coffee, where they had their first kiss, Himchan and Yongguk have finally united as one, bound by an intricate ring of gold. 

Himchan thanks Moon-fucking-Jongup for forcing him to get this man’s number. 

**Author's Note:**

> To my requestor ONLY, Your_guilty_pleasure, once you find out who I am, you are free to request ONE MORE BangHim SMUT scene with specific details if you really want it (maybe the honeymoon if you want). I only wrote one in this fic because I got so into the actual storyline and made it long, plus I was busy out of the country for a while. After the author reveal, you can contact me via tumblr on my profile page. Thanks for everything!


End file.
